I make decisions fast and I act on my decisions fast.

I don't stall. I don't wait.

I don't overthink anything.

I usually ask myself two simple questions:

1. Do I want it?
2. Is this the right thing to do?

If both answers are positive, I do it.

I was at a team building event in January. Members of our team took turns asking one another random questions that HR prepared for us.

My coworker asked me, "If you could do one thing and not worry about failure, what would it be?"

I thought for a bit and responded, "Nothing."

Thought of failure truly isn't part of my decision making process. If I want something, I do it!

Whether I fail or not, doesn't even cross my mind.

My mentality is, I can always just start from zero. Education is the greatest tool I've ever received and it's forever mine to keep.

So what do I have to lose?

Just to clarify, I do make contingency plans.

I have no doubt that with my personality, I'm going to fail all the time.

But I'm very at ease with my failures. Like I often say, I will always get up.

I read this on Forbes last night:

In Just Start!, a new book Schlesinger coauthored, he looks at how serial entrepreneurs who built businesses with revenues ranging from $200 million to the billions—actually behaved when starting a business. And, contrary to the popular image of entrepreneurs as swashbucklers who routinely take crazy risks, many turned out to be pretty careful and analytical. “What surprised me, quite honestly, is the fundamental difference between the myths we structure for entrepreneurs and the reality,” he says.

The first thing serial entrepreneurs do when starting a business, the authors found, is to take a small, “smart step” toward something they desire to achieve. Next, they stop and reflect on what that action accomplished. Finally, they decide if they still want to move forward, given what they have deemed to be their “acceptable loss”—or, as Schlesinger put it recently— “how excited you are about an idea against what you have in time and money.” With each step they take, they go through the process again until they either bail out, shift in another direction or succeed. Of course, they act quickly. Moseying through the steps doesn’t work in a fast-paced, global economy."

Full Article Here

I'm experimenting right now. And while driving home from my morning nonprofit meeting, I thought of a person I should reach out to. So I emailed him immediately when I got home. He could point me in the right direction for my next "small step".

I had a good five hour chat with a friend earlier this week. We were talking about the law of attraction. About how when you're ready to do something, you would be surprised at the resources readily available to you that you've never noticed.

My body's sick and I should rest. But my mind's racing.

Even though my new year resolution is to 'live', the pace at which I'm unexpectedly moving has surprised even myself.

My setback in December was emotionally draining. 

I had to change course.

It led me to more decisions. And I continue to make these decisions. Right or wrong, time will tell.

"People don't fail. They pivot." - Leonard A. Schlesinge

I'm pivoting.

 

Because I know, even if they fall, they would shrug, laugh at themselves and get right back up.

There are tons of smart people out there.

But, I wonder, in the event that they lose everything, would they know how to live?

If I have alot of money in future, great!

I can buy beautiful dresses, look pretty, and eat whatever I want.

If I don't have alot of money in future, great too!

My husband and I will hold hands, go through grocery flyers, and buy whatever on sale and attempt to make a meal out of our purchases.

If I achieve what I set out to achieve, great!

That's the way it should be.

Someone said, "Merely meeting plan would be a failure." I admit, I like that attitude.

But, even if I don't achieve what I set out to achieve, great too!

I'm sure I will find another way in due time.

Whatever card you're dealt, deal with it.

Live within your constraints, make mistakes, and laugh hard at them - just don't hurt anyone in the proccess.

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I spent the weekend at Miami. Didn't do my research prior. I'm extremely lazy when it comes to travelling.

My habit is, I will get myself there and then figure things out.

When I asked the hotel receptionist where the closest non-hotel restaurant was and she suggested I call a cab, I knew, I had booked myself into lala land.

I admit, this thought did cross my mind, "Damn, should have booked Hyatt Regency when I saw the deal on Travelzoo."

But then I said to myself, "Whatever! I'm not going to think about the shoulda-woulda-coulda's. I'm going to have fun."

So, everyday, I walked 40 min one-way into downtown core so that I could take the shuttle to places I wanted to go to (I refuse to cab because I think it's a waste of money). Then late at night, after walking a full day, I will walk another 40 min back to the hotel from downtown core after hopping off the shuttle.

I got sweaty and crazy sticky. The soles of my feet turned black from walking all day in my dirty flip-flops.

Regardless, I still had fun. It became an adventure.

I learned that Miami's humidity rivals that of Asia. I learned that walking 5km takes much longer than running 5km. I learned that Miami's bugs are the TRexes of their kind - their bites freaking hurt!

Then I thought about some of my exs. I started to picture some of them and their reactions if they were caught in the situation with me.

• One would have never landed us in this situation. He would have done all the research and I'd hug him, tell him he's my hero, and openly say to him, "I'm so glad I don't have to deal with this shit."
• One would shrug and then laugh about our stupidity. We would sing songs, play games while we walk our 40 min and take turns asking strangers where to hit up.
• One would incessantly remind me that I should have done my research. I would acknowledge it and he would bring the matter up again after 10 minutes. I would acknowledge it again and he would proceed to taking subtle shots, "For the same amount of money, I'd rather do this..." And then I'd roll my eyes and secretly plan our break up.

Many things in life don't matter.

If I'm on vacation and I have to stress about the fact that I didn't book myself into the right place, then I'm not on vacation.

It's done, it's sunk, I may not have made the best decision, but I will have fun with my mistake.

So all in all, I had a good weekend.

I did whatever I felt like doing.

I told myself I'd have fun, so I did.

 

I joke about not having a future.

But rest assure I don't mean it.

Yes, I constantly feel behind in life.

But yet, I know, I'm not.

I do however feel, my best is yet to be.

So I keep pushing myself with every ounce of my energy.

I encountered a setback this year.

But even so, not once did I doubt myself.

I just told myself, I will fix all my mistakes, one by one.

A strong sense of positive energy carried me through my failure.

Even I'm surprised by how self-assured I was.

Not once, had I thought, I don't belong.

My fighting spirit was not at all dampered.

In fact, I patted myself on the back.

Perhaps, I draw energy from fighting the battle.

Winning helps, but for me it's not the end all.

I failed, but I smiled.

Setback yes, but I have every confidence that I will turn it into a small one over the long run.

Not saying I will get what I want, absolutely not.

But even knowing so, I feel very, at ease.

 

When I want something, I go at it really hard.

It's this insatiable hunger. I want it. I want it. I want it.

If you obstruct my way, I will take you down.

And I'm more than willing to burn myself in the process.

I tend not to think about defeat. I tend not to think about backup plans. This is when I'm in my fighter mode.

All I think about is, "How the eff do I get there?"

Some lines I typically reference to describe this feeling:

• What Plan B? My Plan B is to make Plan A work.
• There's no if's and but's, there's only how.
• I try therefore I can.

If you're a friend of mine, you'd have heard the above over and over again.

You can call me stupid. You can call me obssessed. You can call me crazy.

But, at least, I am able to ignite my fire over and over again.

If everything comes so easy, what fun would life be?

I love life.

 

He dreamt that something bad happened to me, so he emailed to check up.

It had been years.

I was happy to see his email.

We met up for dinner.

We did the usual polite catch-up.

I told him what I was up to and he told me what he was up to.

Then, we started talking about work.

There, I saw the sparkle. The same sparkle that mesmerized me back in highschool.

He did his masters in social work and is now a social worker.

He had always been academic.

For a typical straight A student, why wouldn't you choose Law? Why wouldn't you choose Science? Why wouldn't you choose Business?

Why Social Work?

Because he loved it.

I could tell, from the way he described the families and kids he worked with, he loved his job.

Every moment of it.

He had always been that type of person. Even back in highschool, he rallied a large group of our friends to do the 30 hour famine.

The tone of his voice, the level of conviction, the oh-so-familiar sparkle in his eyes, couldn't lie.

He would likely never make as much money as most of my friends.

But...

I walked out of that dinner, ever so sure of my decision, "This is exactly why I dated him."

I really think the world would benefit from having more people like him.

Don't just live, stand for something.

Be a part of something larger than yourself.

Love what you do. Be passionate.

 

In 2001, I got my body fat % measured for the first time.

29%, borderline obese despite my seemingly small frame.

In 2011, I got my body fat % measured again.

18%, fit.

Over the last 10 years, my weight has never really fluctuated much. I just got leaner.

I haven't been running continuously for the last 10 years. I ran. I stopped. I ran again. I stopped again. But for the last year and a half, I've kept at it.

My initial motivation for running was simple - I wanted to look good.

Running is no fun. I look forward to the end of my run the moment I start.

But, I get a sickening joy, knowing I've kept at something I dislike.

Running, to me, is an opportunity to challenge my mental discipline. And that's what makes it fun.

 

The hardest part about doing anything, is getting started.

This entry, is for myself.

To remind myself, to keep my eyes on the prize, and to remind myself, I'm not working hard enough.

Some people say, "Life's not fair. It's not what you know, it's who you know."

Well, there are tons of people who make it without knowing people at high places.

If they can do it, why can't I?

I was reading a long-lost acquaintance's blog. His entries made me queasy.

I skimmed through the content initially, and I closed the browser.

Why?

Because, I was ashamed. His tangible then-vs-now results put me to shame.

Just moments ago, I decided to read through his handful of entries again. They made me feel behind in life, but, even so, I forced myself through the paragraphs.

Why?

Because I need to kick myself back into gear.

I need to edge myself out of my comfort zone.

I'm not there yet. I failed once. But, I'm determined to make the failure a small one.

I can feel myelf getting lazy. I can't let it happen.

Ling Chung. Be you.

 

I smiled.

 

Motivational note from youngin. Talk about role reversal.

 

T Minus 12 Days

 

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I know you have lots to do, and I know you're stressed. 

 

BUT THATS WHY WE HAVE EACH OTHER. 

 

Plus, you ARE LC the SUPERWOMAN. 

 

I know you're super worried about PAT. So am I especially with it being in its VERY first year. 

But about a year ago, someone bought me a book and wrote me a heartfelt note. 

 

One key thing on the note was "No dream is ever too small" 

 

That's what keeps me going. 

 

Ability is what we're capable of doing. Motivation determines what we do. Attitude determines how well we do it!

 

LETS KEEP EACH OTHER'S ATTITUDE UP OKAY?! 

 

The line "it's not my problem anymore" really irks me.

I hear it the most when people transition out of their jobs. Yes you can move on to a new company, new position, new whatever, but, work-ethic is not job-bound! It's universal!

As long as you're still in your role, I feel, you owe it to yourself and your employer to try your darnest.

I know this check-out mentality is prevalent.

But it bugs me shitless.

Small things matter. I don't care if you've put on a spectacular show at one point in time. But, all these small things that surface when nobody's watching really tell me something about you.

To be absolutely candid, I take mental notes.

 

Last week had moments of lows.

Mom was tested positive for precancerous cells.

Not knowing what the condition was, killed.

Mom pulled a Chicken Little and was planning her exit.

I shed a tear or two thinking Mom might die. I thought to myself, if Mom passes, I would be a close-to-30-year-old orphan.

Yes, you read it right. "30-year-old" and "orphan" in the same line.

We ended up being pretty lucky. The cells ended up to be precancerous.

Mom needs to undergo a major surgery to remove her uterus.

She would be relatively immobile for 3 months but at least, she would be well.

I'm still a little worried because Mom has decided to proceed with the surgery in Taiwan.

She has heard horror stories about Canada's slow healthcare system and does not want to take that chance.

Only problem? I'm here. She's there. We have almost no family in Taiwan.

For the first month, she has made arrangements to hire a full-time nurse.

Still. I'd prefer that she be within my watch. But I can't just quit my job. Too many expenses here.

I will make an Asia trip in the next couple of months. Probably to bring her back.

Regardless. I'm just grateful things sort of panned-out. She's going to be fine.

Yes, alive is a good start.

---

Today I received a piece of semi-bad news. I am waitlisted for the bschool I'm shooting for.

I was disappointed, I was a tad sad. But, I got over it very quickly.

I was just emailing an alumnus about this today - I'm a lucky person. Typically, in my life, good news tend to follow bad news. Things always work out.

So I thought long and hard about what possible good news I might receive.

I made a prediction that an online order I've placed three weeks ago would arrive promptly.

Goodness gracious, I checked my junk mailbox this evening, my $350 dress is actually scheduled to arrive tomorrow!

Now I just need to find an occassion to wear it.

On a more serious note. I must say, I'm very grateful to have crossed path with nice people. Even people who barely knows me showers me with kindness. I am surprised at the amount of help the alumnus has offered me throughout my application process - ongoing for the last year and a bit may I add.

Upon my update, my old boss wrote me a nice email of encouragement and reasserted his confidence in me.

I'm a positive person. Nonetheless, I admit, I've lost.

As much as many people try to convince me otherwise, in my humble opinion, almost doesn't count.

You cheer for first place. You don't cheer for second. I am not a first-pick. Face it.

Failure, is not something I have a problem with. I fight it head-on.

I'm not demoralized or anything. If I do eventually get admitted, this little hump, is actually good for me. It's a telling sign that my credentials aren't as strong as the rest of the pool - so I would need to work twice as hard to be on par. That's definitely a Ling Chung specialty.

I believe, everything, will pan out. I am fully prepared to go through reapplication. Throwing in the white towel at this point, way too early.

---

In a way, Mom's situation and a small PUYO hurdle might actually be a good thing. Without these two elements occupying my thoughts, I might be going bezuku over bschool waitlist right now - there are other things that require my undivided attention.

Incidentally, earlier this afternoon, HBR posted a blog post titled "Are Happy People Dumb?" - I did not read the article. But I glanced over the headline and did a silent chuckle. Very me.

Happily dumb.

But because I'm dumb, I don't stop trying.

---

Finally, I joke about being the center of the universe but I know I really am not. I know my problems are not true problems.

To a friend going through hard times, nothing I say & do would help, but I applaud your attitude - how you have not whined, victimized yourself, or belittled anyone else's issues. I will top up your Ribena for you.