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  • My Friend Is Very Mature

    Friend looked at my roommate's shoe rack.

    Friend: "Your roommate hasn't worn this pair of shoes for at least a month."

    Me: "She hasn't been home for a month."
    Friend: "Yes I know. Because I tied her two shoes together. The shoelaces are still in tact."
    Me: .......
    -----------
    Same friend.
    Friend: "Do you have an extra laptop?"
    Me: "Yes. It's my work laptop. Don't do anything stupid."
    The next day, while I was battling regression, I see a "Surprize!" folder on my desktop.
    Totally not suitable for work.
    My friend is very mature.
    But I admit, I'm not having a great night with regression. He made me laugh.

  • Gift Giving

    I had fun preparing gifts this time.

    I went on Pinterest and stole some craft ideas.
    The gifts I got the most excited about were not the expensive ones.
    They were the quirky and personal ones.
    While I was preparing the gifts, I realized, gift giving is a mindset.
    It can definitely be a chore. 
    I'm sure I don't need to remind you how obligatory special occasions can be.
    But, just like my philosophy in life, anything can be fun if you make it fun.
    The thought of a smile on her face makes me happy.
    That's when I realized gift giving can be fun - and it's definitely not about the monetary value.
    As we 'grow up', we tend to have more money to spend on gifts.
    I often start with a budget, which I don't believe should be the first decision criterion.
    Some of the best gifts I've ever gotten don't even require a budget.
    Case in point: 
    I dug this toilet paper holder up from my stash of memorabilia.
    Someone noticed my toilet paper holder was broken.
    One day, out of nowhere, he got me a new one and drew my friends on it.
    I had such a good laugh. 
    How much did it cost?
    Under $2.
    ------
    Another friend was looking for NeoCitran. 
    The girl was sick and she made a passing comment about how NeoCitran is always out of stock.
    My friend and I walked past a drug store and he asked to go in to take a peek.
    He lives in a different city and wanted to mail NeoCitran to her.
    I thought that was really cute. I mean, who doesn't like opening parcels?
    Nothing extravagant. But it's the thought behind the gift. 
    Unexpected, relevant, and cheap. All in all, very cute.
    ------
    Anyhow, I have new found appreciation for gift giving. 
    I'm sure I will have much more fun with it in the future.
    For starters, I will stop viewing it as a chore.

  • Be Happy

    Two people around me got quite sick recently. "Quite sick" is an understatement, trust me.

    It was hard to swallow. Receiving two pieces of news one after another, within a span of 10 days.
    When the second piece of news hit, I was devastated. It was a low-point.
    I hid under the blanket and slept incessantly.
    However, I am over the hump. 
    When life gives you lemons, you make chocolate sponge cake with no icing. 
    Yes. I like non-sequitur thoughts.
    I appreciate all the email and phone check-ups. 
    Despite failing at so many things in life, I've made some truly solid friends. Young and old.
    Thank you.
    My two friends who have gotten sick both live relatively healthy lifestyles.
    As much as you can try to take care of your body, no one can escape the hands of fate. If ailment comes knocking on your door, it is what it is.
    That said, I still think it's important to take care of your health.
    But, it's even more important to live happy.
    You never know what would happen tomorrow.
    So do yourself the favour. Be happy. Don't be miserable.

  • It's That Dreaded Thing

    On many occasions this week I wanted to write. But I don't know what to say.

    I don't feel like joking about anything.
    I also don't feel it's appropriate for me to sulk.
    Emotionally, this is the strongest she's ever been - proud of her.
    Emotionally, this is one of the weakest I've ever been - I suck.
    I am very hopeful. But when a trigger hits, I become teary-eyed.
    Mom went to the temple and did the whole 'ask the buddha' majig. She received positive signs.
    I'm collecting content for a pick-me-up box.
    So whenever she's down, she can reach into the box for a little pick-me-up.
    Kind of like Kinder Surprise, the adult-not-so-fun version.
    If you have any ideas on what I could include, please let me know.

  • Moral Support

    On December 28, I received an email from one of my girls. 

    We're usually on email or WeChat on a daily basis. We haven't heard from her in days. We just assumed she was busy with her boyfriend, visiting her in NYC.
    The email was short, it said: "Brain surgery at NYU tonight. Have a big ass cyst. Ask JC (boyfriend) for questions."
    It came out of no where. We were all in shock. From diagnosis to surgery, it was a mere 16 hours.
    It ended up being a 7cm brain tumor, not a cyst. Size of an egg. The surgery was smooth and she's recovering well. 
    But a brain tumor at 30? It was surreal. 
    When I first received the email, I didn't quite understand the implications. 
    So I emailed my best friend in Singapore who's a doctor and asked, "How bad is this?" 
    When my best friend responded, I teared. It was then that I realized it could be serious.
    We're all anxiously waiting for pathology results now. The tumor could be benign or cancerous. I don't know why, I really think it's benign. 
    -----
    My company recently went through a round of layoff. I was chatting with a colleague who got the pink slip. She told me, "Sometimes people don't say anything because they don't know what to say. But, that's even weirder."
    When she received emails telling her she'd be missed, the support lifted her from the state of rejection.
    -----
    A good friend's mom passed away last year. I learned how important it is to offer a hand of support. You may not know what to say, but, even a "Are you ok?" or a "Can I help with anything?" means something.
    Being there is important.
    -----
    When I got kicked out of PUYO, I remember what the streams of emails and checkups did for me. They were my source of strength. Simple words, but they went a long way to get me out of my pit.
    -----
    As I'm thinking about these four different scenarios. I see a commonality.
    Practical or not, showing that you care is important.
    You may not know what to say, but, if the person's close to you, say something.
    Showing that you're by their side means something, especially when they are in a state of vulnerability.

  • My Christmas Story

    Before my stick figure days, I used to make cards using Microsoft Clip Art gallery.
    It was a real pain cropping and pasting pictures. Then I mastered stick figure art and abandoned clip art.
    Since it's Christmas, I dug up a Mother's Day card I drew for my mom in 2004. 
    It was a story about Christmas.
    I made the card in Chinese but I translated it today.
    Although Christmas has never been the same since that day, I'd always be grateful to my mom for making me believe in miracles.
    It was a magical feeling. 
    Merry Christmas.

     
    PS: I just called my mom. She bought me angry bird slippers. Nice.

  • 2012 Year In Review

    I rested in 2012.

    I had lots of fun. 
    I dated. I slept. I saw friends. I spent time with my mom. I celebrated my birthday five different times. I made two friend-of-year's, a guy and a girl. I saw my childhood friends. I saw my baby cousin. I was reminded of how loved I am over and over again.
    I got busy again in the back half of the year. But it wasn't insane.
    Although I rested, I didn't stay idle. I zero-ed in on my plans. It wasn't deliberate, but, things just started connecting. So I researched.
    Once I decide to do something, I always do it.
    I said early this year, 2012 would be a year to live, not to achieve. My 2012 New Year Resolution. And I definitely lived.
    I have plans for myself. I don't quite know what tone my 2013 would take. 
    I won't let it be status quo. That's not me. I will make something happen.
    I'm all for jumping off the cliff. Optimistically, I just assume someone will run after me with a rope.
    May I get there.
    2013
    To live? To achieve? To change course?
    I don't know, yet.
    But, my gut tells me it would be exciting.

  • Pins & Needles

    I'm on pins and needles.

    Regardless of how much my mom and I argue or get annoyed at each other, at the end of the day, when anything big happens, my mom will always be my safety blanket.
    I couldn't get a hold of her the last two days. She was out sightseeing with her boyfriend. 
    She forgot about me. 
    I couldn't get a hold of her at home. I couldn't get a hold of her on her cell. I resorted to leaving her a Facebook wall post.
    The one time I managed to get a hold of her was when it was 6am her time. She was asleep. We had no conversation whatsoever.
    I finally got a hold of her just now. She was having lunch and couldn't chat.
    She knew what I was nervous about and said she would check in with me tomorrow.
    Thank goodness for mothers. They drive you insane, but they also keep you sane.

  • Layoff

    During this time, some warmth is always nice.
    I understand layoff decisions are never easy.
    Once, I had a GM who decided to let my boss go.
    Later, he emailed a coworker and I with the following:
    "As the longest standing members of the department it would be very nice if you arranged a little farewell for X with the team this week. Invite whoever you decide to include and expense it."
    I don't like to go into detail about work on my blog. Nor do I want to comment on whether the personnel decisions were right or wrong.
    However, I appreciated the GM's email. He made a business decision. But, another part of him, acted as a good human being.
    I've always believed that character is higher than intellect.
    It's important to be kind regardless of what you do.
    Business is business. But there are also ways to act 'human' while making sound business decisions.
    They are not always mutually exclusive.

  • An Ode To Him: Good Bye & Thank You

    It's hard for me to write this, because of all the intricacies.
    But it deserves the space.
    ------
    Since our break up 10 years ago, we've always kept in touch.
    We don't see each other, but we talk regularly.
    In many ways, he watched me grow up.
    In more ways than one, he took care of me. 
    ------
    When we were dating...
    He came home really late after a night with the guys, exhausted, and a little drunk.
    He walked into the room. Instead of heading straight for the bed, I heard him rummaging through the closet.
    Me, still half asleep: "Hey, come to bed."
    Him: "I'm going to take a shower first."
    Me: "Didn't you shower a couple of hours ago?"
    Him: "Yes, but I smell like smoke. I know you don't like cigarette smell."
    He patted me on the head and went into the shower.
     
    Whatever he did, he always thought of me.
    ----
    Years after our break up... 
    At 11pm, my phone rang.
    Me: "I'm surprised it's you. Your wedding's tomorrow, aren't you crazy busy?"
    Him: "Yes. Just want to say bye."
    Me: "Why?! Are you not going to talk to me anymore?"
    Him: "No. It's just symbolic. Take care of yourself."
    Me: "Of course! "
    I smiled.
    I didn't expect this call.
    ------
    His wife doesn't know that we still talk. 
    When we chat, it's always during the day, while he's at work.
    I'm not "Ling Chung" in his address book, I'm filed under a different name on his phone.
    We don't see each other. We just chat regularly.
    It's been like this for years.
    ------
    A month ago, he called to tell me he was going on vacation, like he usually does.
    That implied one thing: I shouldn't be calling, for he would be with his wife.
    Something clicked.
    There's something inherently wrong with this.
    -----
    The way I've always viewed our dynamic: there is no way in hell we would ever get back together.
    We don't feel for each other that way. We've become family over the years.
    Therefore, I didn't see anything wrong with us keeping in touch.
    But, after that call, something felt wrong.
    Yes nothing's going on between him and I.
    Even so, if I were his wife, I would still be hurt. 
    It's simply a breach of trust.
    The trust issue had never crossed my mind.
    ------
    It didn't feel right. 
    I thought hard about what I needed to do. 
    We had to stop talking. 
    But, that was a hard decision to come to grips with.
    He was much more than an ex, he was family.
    I parked the issue. I needed time.
    ------
    On my birthday, he called to wish me happy birthday.
    I brought up the topic.
    We toyed with some alternatives, all of them had disclosure issues.
    It's one thing to be oblivious. But it's another when you know you're doing something wrong yet you still choose to do it.
    I really don't want to cause a rift between him and his wife. I care for him too much for anything bad to happen to his family.
    And, I say it very sincerely, I just don't want to hurt his wife.
    We dismissed the alternatives. 
    I teared.
    He said thank you. 
    ------
    On my 30th birthday, we broke up a second time.
    Towards him, I'm full of gratitude. 
    ------
    Fatty, I'm a big girl now. I can take care of myself. 
    Good bye and thank you, truly.